The Founding Fathers

The Founding Fathers, sometimes known as the Founding Fathers of Skid Row, are a load of fat auld duffers. They meet up every Thursday to talk about their alcoholic and smoking habits, and on Saturdays they go bowling. The list is as follows:
 * John McAuley, father of Aidan McAuley. John has the power to KO anyone in punching range. He is a lady magnet, the biggest of any of the Fathers. He is nearly bald.
 * Patrick Hewitt Sr., father of Patrick Hewitt Jr. The greatest mustache you will ever lay your eyes on. He doesn't, believe it or not, live in the Gas Flats, considering his son does. He is nearly bald.
 * Bazza Woodlock, father of Nathan Woodlock. He plays as a striker for Tottenham Hotspur Football Club and the English national football team. He has a rare mutated baldy gene which makes his children more bald than he is. He is nearly bald.
 * Stephen O'Rourke, father of Aaron O'Rourke. He is a worker for United Taxis Co. His other job which also has something to do with taxis is the reason Aaron was born. He is nearly bald.
 * Arif Arif, father of AliTok123. Arif taught his son how to perform his incredible dances, known as 'orange justice' and the 'hype'. He wears Jesus sandles.  He is nearly bald.
 * [REDACTED], father of [REDACTED]. The richest man in town. He pays for all the meeting and pizza and pies and sausage rolls. The reason he has no name is because Cole would batter me. He is.. actually, it isn't good i say that one.